六（7）刘宣欐

What is a goal? What does a goal set for? It couldbe set for learning, working, living or something else. People say thateverything can be done if you have a clear goal. So I want to share a storyabout how important it is to have a goal.

         Ithink most of people have known a man called Michael Jeffrey Jordan. He is agreat basketball player. When he was young, he was not as tall as otherbasketball players, but he had a strong love for playing it. When in highschool, he tried to join in the basketball team but failed. At that time, he set a goal to keep on practicing playingbasketball and never said give up. And then, in the third year of his highschool life, he got in the basketball team. Finally, in 1984, he joined in NBA.Now he is called as “the God of Basketball”.

We know we can get great achievements if we workhard. At the same time, we also need a clear goal to push us forward. Nevergive up and keep on meeting our goals.

教师评语：【By Teacher Kaya吴迎】

Advantages:

• Thisarticle attaches great importance to setting a clear goal. And it uses anexample of a basketball player named Michael Jeffrey Jordan to tell the readersthat how a man succeeded by setting a clear goal and keeping on meeting hisgoal. This is encouraging.

• The logicof this article is quite clear.

• Somefigures of speech are used in this article: parallelism and ex amplification.

Disadvantage:

• Theauthor needs to pay attention to some grammar mistakes, like “a goodachievements” “has join” and “and than”.

• Ifthe author can give an example about how she get success by sticking to a cleargoal, it would be better.